There is a huge difference between someone who loves you and someone who loves the way you make them feel.
And the best way to tell the difference is how they act towards you when you are suffering, when you are in pain and when you are going through difficult times.
Someone who is there just because they like the way you make them feel is someone who is there for their own interests.
When someone is there for their own interests, they are there for the good sides of you. So that means that when you feel bad, when you have needs, when you are less accommodating, when you need them, they will call you difficult, they will tell you that you are complicated, they will tell you that you are too sensitive.
When someone truly loves you, when someone truly cares about your well-being, seeing you feel bad makes them feel bad because they want to see you feel good.
Whereas when someone uses you, they are someone who will immediately put you down the moment you start to feel bad.
Why? Because it doesn’t serve their interests or their needs. It’s very much based on them and what they can get from you, but when you have nothing to give, that’s when you see who your people are.
That’s when you see who shows you real empathy, real concern for your well-being. A real desire to make you feel good, to understand you, to see you, that’s love.
And when someone uses you, the moment you’re a little more difficult, a little more complicated, when you’re not at your best, they either leave, blame you, or change the image they have of you.
And that shows you everything you need to know about someone. It’s a reflection of themselves, it’s not a reflection of your worth, it’s a reflection of the worth they give themselves.
I’m only good enough under these conditions, I only love myself under these conditions. So they’ll offer you the same conditional and unstable love.
Now the idea is that you have enough discernment to tell the difference between someone who really loves you and someone who is using you.